-By A.O.
Scroll Stolen from the Beyond
Our new-ish book!
Hey meatsicles! At long last our book has been released for your voracious consumption. Now you can read the opening tale of your ugly species’ [doomed] future. If only you were literate!
Oh well. Some disgruntled Messenger of the Beyond was looking to unload this “Top-secret” Beyond Scroll, and assured us we’d never have to review another medical bill as soon as this ‘puppy’ was put on Amazon. #@*%er never mentioned it wasn’t in human-ese (at least hell is at last free from Steve Harwell’s incessant story about the clandestined success of ‘All Star’!) Anywho, after months of translating -here it is! So buy the godamned thing so we can instruct our boss to reverse the I/O of his orifices!
Prophet of Doom; Unsold Author; Corporate Healthcare Analyst
Ahn Ominous
Not so long ago, I was an esteemed Gulla (what you amnesic chimpanzees imagine as ‘Grim Reapers’), climbing my merry way up the corporate ladder of the Underworld; but next thing I know, I’m a entry-level peasant of the American healthcare industry, sharing the fetid air of earth with you taco-breathed hillbillies.
So, since you collectively displaced me from my favorite paseternity (dragging souls to hell), I’m going to bring some much-deserved hell to you.
There’s nothing good to say about Ahn Ominous.
– Neti
There’s never been a more pretentious escort of the damned than Ominous.
– Ig Alima
Who?
– Ereshkigal
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